Improve you mental health, spend more time in the country

You wanna cuddle a cow for 300 bucks?

You can at Mountain Horse Farm in Albany, New York. It’s called “The Horse & Cow Experience.”  The farm’s website describes it thusly “… a unique way of connecting, interacting, getting close, playing, learning, sharing space, finding wellness and having fun with our herd of horses and cows.”

Sheesh, how many psycho babble phrases can you cram into a sentence? I guess for $300 bucks a pop you just can’t say “Come on out and play with our cows.”

Participants are invited to participate in “…brushing, petting, playing, sharing space or snuggling up to the cows when they are lying down.”

Seems like to me the good folks at Mountain Horse Farm have found a way to get folks to pay to do their farm work. Aside from the cuddling part. I know a lot of people who raise cows. Cuddling them isn’t high on the list of their things to do today.

Now calves, calves are cute. You may want to hug a calf when it is little. But I would advise keeping a close eye on mamma. She may take exception to your attentiveness. An upset 800-pound animal can do a fair bit of damage.

I’m never ceased to be amazed at how people will spend money. I’d look long and hard at 300 smackers before shelling them out to spend quality time with a bovine.

On a serious note I think this whole thing shows that we have a large portion of the country that has a disconnect when it comes to the land. It’s no longer common for kids to spend summers in the country with their grandparents.

We have a generation that has never known the joys of shelling peas, picking figs, hoeing the garden or swimming in the creek. Can’t do that stuff on a smartphone. There is no app that can teach you the value of hard work after a day spent throwing and stacking square hay bales.

Want to learn to appreciate the little things? Spend a day doing yard work. Then you’ll learn the value of shade. And cool breezes.

I think I’ll go and “find some wellness” this weekend out in the country. I’ll ponder the meaning of life while cutting grass. I’ll consider the duality of man as I watch the sunset over the farm pond, with a cold one in my hand. I’ll nod to the cows as I ride out on the four-wheeler.

Won’t do the cuddle thing though. Even if I could catch ‘em.

An aside: In last week’s column I wrote about the uniqueness on my native region and what makes the South so special. I wrote about the difference in “naked” and “nekkid.” It was pointed out by a reader that description was first penned by the late, great Southern humorist Lewis Grizzard. I have heard that description most of my adult life, but didn’t know who first came up with it.

This is a belated accreditation to Grizzard, and a hat tip to the reader. I’ll be more careful next time.

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